Pushing me away
by xopkj2xo
Summary: From the Moment I saw him I knew we were meant to be. That day when I was in 9th grade. I was 15. Today I’m 18 and I Love him more than I ever expected. I'm Living The Dream! This is a JONAS story.....
1. Chapter 1

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My life hasn't always been this good. When I was 15 one of my brothers was killed. He was not only my brother, he was my best friend. I trusted him 210. He meant to whole world and more to me. It was the day of his birthday and everything was going great we were having a party everyone was there. It was like a block party sort of thing.

Well, I wanted to go to this Camp in Oregon for my music. I was REALLY good. You see my mom she is not good with change. She absolutely hates it. She said no. My dad said yes. But remember "Mothers knows best." right? GAH! Well, My Brother being his normal self fought for me. This got him grounded, Of course. With the entire ruckus going on I forgot about his birthday present. I had gotten him tickets to see Boys Like Girls. So we snuck out. The concert was amazing! Afterwards we went to sonic to grab a bite to eat. We were at the stoplight about 5 minutes from our house when I saw a bright light out of the corner of my eye I turned, and yelled Stephen look out!! I woke 3 days later in a hospital. I had no clue where I was or what happened. But I knew something bad happened I look up and saw a nurse. The first thing I said was STEPHEN! STEPHEN! WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS MY BROHTER? I was crying hysterical by then. And my dad came in and held me in his arms and said, "He's not coming back." Those four little words would change my life for good. We were hit by a drunk driver. It was only 11p.m. at night. After that day I didn't sing I didn't smile I didn't even want to hang out with my friends. Through out the rest of the school year they stuck with me. Thick and thin. Like shake and bake. Most of my friends were guys since my brother was my best friend we all just hung out together. I was one of the guys. The other thing that got me through that was, this may sound silly but a band. A band called the Jonas Brothers.

The last day of my 9th grade year Drew, my BEST friend, came over after school we were having a sleepover! (Very common. My parents trusted me, and plus I had a purity ring that I believed strongly in. Oh and it helped that a had a little brother in 7th grade there to!) Well I went into the house and I guess he got the mail because he came running in screaming, YOU GOT IN! YOU GOT IN! Well even though I had not sung since that day my brother died. I decided I had to go. This was my dream. And I knew Stephen would not want me to give it up. So I went had the time of my life. Got my first boyfriend ever, and my first heartbreak.

One year later my parents had gotten more uptight. I could do nothing. My curfew was about 9:30. It stunk. So when my Idol, Ryan Cabrera, was coming to town I knew I would not be able to go. It was the chance of a lifetime and I couldn't take it. Well it turns out my boyfriend, Will, and Drew had gotten tickets, and passes to the after party. I turns out I couldn't go to the party cause I was only 16. But Will and Drew could so I told them to go. they came running up to the car and they said, "don't freak out but you have a meeting with Ryan and his record label. Wow! My dream is finally coming true.

You must be thinking wow her life isn't bad. Well, this is where it gets worse. I had finally gotten a band together. Everything was going way to good to be true. I spoke too soon. I got a call from Will and he said he couldn't make it to the studio. I might have been working but I wasn't going to pass up our anniversary. Yes our ONE YEAR. It broke my heart. I called drew and he rushed over. I imagine he broke at least 30 laws getting to me that quickly but he loved me. He came in and the first thing he said is I'm sorry I have to tell you this but Kat He's Cheating on you with Jenna. Wow!

It was a Total shocker. I didn't know what to do. So I decided to break up with him. I didn't have time to talk because I was working. Duh! So I texted him. Shallow I know but I couldn't handle it. Well about a month later I was on tour with my idol. And everything was going good. I got a call one night it was Will's mom. She was sobbing. The only thing she got out was he loved you so much and suicide.

At his funeral I had always heard of his cousin but I never met. I never expected him to be so cute and sweet. I grew really close to Shaun. We started dating. 1 year past still going strong, ups and downs I thought he was the guy for me. He started leaving a lot going to Europe to snowboard and New Zealand. Things like that. And my career had taken off I was on tour non stop for 3 months but I always flew up to see him every day I was off.

_**And this is where my story begins……**_

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**Hahahaha. Okay so, yeah i got that from raise your voice, but that is the only thind like it in the story. This just gives you alittle background info. **

**On the story. Like or not. idk. TELL ME! Lol. **


	2. Chapter 2

"So who's the new girl?" I asked Michael as he walked the door.

"New girl? I have the least bit of clue what you're talking about Kathryn."

"Oh come on Michael I haven't seen u smile like since…." He cut me off before I could say her name.

"Her Names Michelle. Are you happy now?"

"Yes Very! I can tell you like her a lot! I need to approve before things get serious!"

This got him laughing! I've only known Michael for 4 months, he plays the guitar in my band, but we are closer than ever!

There was an awkward pause in the conversation. So I changed the subject!

"So do u know who I really want to meet?"

"Hmmm…" Michael thought

"Let me think it has to be the boys that pictures are All over the place!"

"Ha-Ha Very Funny, I said sarcastically, you know I have loved them since I was in 9th grade so don't even!"

"You should call Leslie and see if she can get u to meet them!!" he said totally joking.

"OMGOSHHH! I'm calling her right now! Why didn't I think of this sooner?!"

"You know I was just pulling your leg right?"

"Yeah, but it was…..LESLIE!! How are you? That's wonderful! Do you think you could do me a favor? I really would like to meet the Jonas Brothers. Uh-huh yeah, But…PLEASE! You know how much this would mean. I love you. You can't say no.

NO WAY! Seriously? This is Amazing thank you Sooo much so his number is 8173648302? Okay I'll talk to you later! Bye!"

"HOLY CROLY!

"I have JOE JONAS'S PHONE NUMBER!" I said dancing around the bus like a freak.

Do a happy dance with me Michael!!

"You're a freak" and with that he was gone.

It was just me my phone and a tiny piece of paper with the number of the love of my life since I was 15. What should I do? Wait? Call now? Should I practice what I'm going to say? Wow! Too many questions. And before I even could realize what I was doing the phone was next to my ear….and it was RINGING!!

"Hola! Como te llamas?" a voice said.

Am I confused or what. This was weird. I guess I should say something…what if this is him….hmmm I should do something funny!

"Me llama es Kathryn. Y tu?" I said hoping he would laugh.

"Bahahaha…."

At that point I knew it was them because I heard the laugh…the laugh that I fell in love with! It was Kevin's laugh! I must be on speaker!

"That was a good one! So Kathryn, are you like _THE_ Kathryn. The rockstar?"

"Wow. I wouldn't put it like that but yes, yes I am!"

We talked for about 10 minutes about random stuff.

"So I hear you guys are going to be in Georgia tomorrow?" hoping Joe would ask to hang out so I wouldn't have to!

"Why yes we are! we should all do something, my brothers are dying to meet you!"

I heard an OUCHHHHH, and knew instantly that either Nick or Kevin had hit him.

"ummm are you okay" I asked laughing into the phone.

"uhhh yeah I just um fell off my bunk."

"Can I tell you something?" I said very secretively

"Yeah anything" he said, sounding scared.

"You're a HORIBLE liar!, but how bout we all meet around 11 sound okay?"

"Sounds perfect"

"Okay then Buh-bye!"

I slammed the phone shut. Was this a dream somebody pinch me!

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**So, yeah i never realized but these chapters are SHORT. **

**Sorry about that. if ya want i can post two chapters at a time.**

**i've already got it done...and the sequel. **

**whatever floats your boat! Lol. **

**how are you guys liking it so far?**


	3. Chapter 3

I couldn't focus the rest of the night. My concert was not my best. Kind of embarrassing actually, but it was totally worth it. It was impossible for me to sleep that night. All I could think about were the three boys. In 10 hours I would be meeting them for the first time. Omg! What should I wear?

"Michael! Get in here now!" I screamed!

"Bah. What its 1 in the morning and I need my sleep."

"Does this outfit look okay? I like it. It says hey I try but it's not like omg I'm a slut. Dontcha think?"

"My lord Kathryn Faith u look absolutely amazing, like always. And now you just have to wait 10 hour to see them. I really think you should get some sleep. Now!" Michael said.

He always knew how to make me feel so much better. That's why we get along so well.

I finally got to sleep about 2:30.

"Rise and Shine Kathryn I made breakfast!" Michael said opening the curtain of my bunk.

"Michael! I was just about to kiss Kev….." he cut me off

"Save it for 3 hours okay!"

"3 HOURS OMG OMG!!

I ran to the bathroom and instantly started to get ready and 2 and half hours later….

"So are you sure the outfit I picked out is fine?!

I mean I could totally…maybe I should just wear a hoodie and jeans…or that jacket, you know the one with the pink and blue things…"

"It looks perfect now lets go I'll drop you off on my way to the mall."

The ride to the studio was incredibly LONG. We couldn't think of anywhere else to go. We would have gotten spotted in public and all 4 of us together…well that would be bad.

So when we got there I didn't want to be first so I had mike wait down the street waiting. Yeah I'm weird like that. Finally I saw the big black SUV thing pull up and there they were. All three of them looked amazing. Nick in his plaid button up and jeans and black converse, Joe in, if you can believe it, sweats, but he look absolutely beautiful as always. Then it was Kevin's turn. As soon as his foot hit the ground my heart started to race. It felt like I was having a heart attack. He was in dark skinny jeans with the like tan stitching; he had black boots on and a SMET shirt with a white bandana. His hair was curly, and it looked wet like he had just gotten out of the shower. Once he was entirely out of the car he slid off his aviators and hung them on his shirt.

"So are you just going to sit here and gawk or are you going to get out?" Michael asked.

"I'm just taking it all in…its not everyday you meet the guys your in love with"

"Aren't you already in love with someone Kathryn? Or are you just going to forget about Shaun?" He said in a rude tone

"Well that was uncalled for. You know I love him. We just never see each other, and he never calls me back, if you'll excuse me I'm going to go. Have fun being rude." I said as I got out of the car and slammed the door.

I spoke too soon right as I walked into the studio my phone started ringing. It was Shaun, I knew it would be rude to not answer it so I did and I guess Joe had seen me because he came running out of the room saying omg its really you! I LOVE YOU! It was actually pretty funny but Shaun got ticked and said he had to go.

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**Hahahahah **

**If you havent figured it out yet Shaun is Shaun White **

**I used to Love him with my E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G**

**but now i have kevin! Lol. **

**WO! i'm really hyper! **

**if you havent noticed already!**

**Hahahahahahhaahha **

**Goodbye Loves3**

**R&R PLEASE! **


	4. Chapter 4

"Kathryn I'm SO sorry!"

"Bahahaha don't worry about it Joe it totally fine! It made him hang up the phone actually!"

"Well I guess so…"

We walked to the room, and I was nervous. I was really nervous! I guess Joe could tell because he started goofing off to get my mind off things. We made it to the room, Joe still goofing off; he was truly the funniest thing in the world. I could tell we were going to get along great! When we walked through that door nothing could explain the feeling I had. The biggest smile wiped across my face. I am the luckiest girl ever! I thought.

"Hey I'm Kathryn!" I walked up to Nick and stuck out my hand…I guess he didn't want to shake it. He stood up.

"I'm more of a hug person." he smiled.

"That was the best hug I have ever gotten! Oh my goodness! Wow." I thought to myself.

"Good me too!" next is Kevin I walked over to him feeling more confident than ever.

"Hey what's up?"

"Nothing at all, nothing just sitting here." He chuckled.

I started laughing hysterically, I was laughing so hard I started to cry.

"Umm what's so funny Kathryn?" Kevin asked

"I'm sorry it's just I have just heard about your laugh and I have only heard it in videos and I…I'm sorry it's just so cute!"

"Well your laugh isn't half bad either."

We sat there forever and talked about life on the road, music, Disney channel, school. Anything and everything you could possibly think of we talked about! Even Guitar Hero!

"I could totally take you at guitar hero!" Joe said talking to me.

"O whatever Joe you just think your good but, it real life you SUCK." Kevin said.

"Hmmm….what levels are you on Joe?" I laughed.

"Easy!!"

HAHAHAHA yep I could totally take him. I play on medium. This should be fun.

"Let's do it. It's on! Prepare to die! Muahahahahah!" I said.

"It's on baby!"

I got up, put the guitar over my head and picked out an easy song _Miss Murder _by AFI. I was rocking!! I hadn't missed a note yet, but Joe, Joe wasn't doing so well.

He was in the red I couldn't help but laugh. He finally got booed off the stage.

"Well, that was fun!"

"gah! Beat, by a GIRL!! I must really suck!" he laughed as he went to sit down on the couch.

"Well I need some real competition, Kevin want to play?"

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

"Duh I can take it." I said sarcastically.

"Well you can pick a song. It's only fair." I hated it when guys did this. I'm not one to make decisions

"UGG! You aggravate me Kevin Jonas."

I didn't want to cause anything so I just choose a song. I was doing really good considering we were on hard. I got all the way to the end and then like 2 seconds before we finished LOST. Kevin was laughing, now I know what Joe felt like when I was laughing. I looked around and we were alone I have no clue where Nick and Joe went but I was focusing on beating Kevin!

"Laugh all you want I will beat you someday."

"Maybe next time?"

"There going to be a next time?"

"Yeah my Brothers and I would like that. You're cool to hang out with."

I smiled. "Ummm…..Well, let's go find Joe and Nick."

What am I doing? O my gosh am I flirting with Kevin? What about Shaun. Why would Kevin say something like that, "Maybe next time?"…..What!?

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**HAHAHA. **

**dood. i'm meeting jason dolley in like 2 hours. **

**AHHHHHHH! i'm excited! **

**Well, R&R**

**Ttyl! **


	5. Chapter 5

_I'll just keep on dreaming but it's cool cause we're just friends_….

Those words have been haunting me all month. It's been about a week since I have seen Joe Kevin and Nick last. I talk to Joe all the time. We've gotten really close over the past months. We haven't gone a day without talking! He is such a cool guy! Nick and Kevin are like my Brothers. They are always there for me when I need to talk. They are so sweet.

_**So kiss me goodbye .Honey I'm gonna make it out alive. So kiss me goodbye. I can see the venom in your eyes…..**_

"Crap my phone is ringing…" i mumbled searching the bus for it.

"Hello."

"Heya !!"

"JOOOEEEE!! What's up?"

"Nothing. we have a three day break, and were bored!"

"No way! I have a two day break!" Yay! Now we can talk a lot!

"Well. Actually, we can't"

"O okay. Y not?" I was actually really dissapointed, but I hid it in my voice.

"Because…." I cut him off. I heard a knock.

"Hold on there is someone at the door."

I walked up to the front of the bus. I was alone so I was kind of scared to answer the door, but when I did…….

"JOSSEEEPHHH!! KEEEVVVINNN!! NIIICCKKK!! What are you guys doing here!"

"Well we figured we would surprise you! Since us both were on breaks!" Kevin said.

"You Guys are the best, come on in. You can put your stuff in the back, and I'll show you what bunks are open!"

"So what do you guys what to do?" Nick asked

Kevin and I looked at each other and said "Guitar Hero!"

"Okay but only for a little, it get boring sitting here watching Kathryn try to win."

"Hey! Rude much?"

"He only tells the truth." Joe came in

"And to think I call you my best friend." I said.

**2 hours later…..**

"Guys come on, Kathryn give it up…. Let's watch TV or something I'm SO bored!" Nick said. And Joe agreed.

"Fine" I said…."lets watch TV but I get to pick!"

"Yeah sure u do since I have the remote" nick added.

"Inconceivable!" I said, i a funny voice.

"That's off that one movie. You know, as you wish." Joe acted it out.

Kevin started laughing hysterically. There he goes again always knows how to get to me. His laugh is so darn cute!

"The movie is called _The Princesses Bride."_ He added after he clamed down.

We watched TV for at least 4 hours and by this time I was so incredibly tired. So I got up and started walking down the hall, and nick asks me where I'm going. I didn't have enough energy to answer but he would get the hint. I guess I was sleeping for an hour or two before the television woke me up. I had to pee really bad so I walked to the bathroom and I heard Joe and Kevin talking.

"So how bad is it this time Kev?"

"Well. You know when you get that feeling like you love someone but u can't tell them, because they are very happy with someone else. That's how bad it is."

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**This is where it gets good. **

**or atleast i think...**

**idk. **

**BAHHHH. **

**Okay. Goodbye. **


	6. Chapter 6

I had heard enough. I turned around and went back to my bunk hoping that that conversation would not haunt my dreams.

I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I had a disturbing wake up call…

"Joseph get out of my bunk now!" I yelled in a whisper.

"Not unless you get up, we have plans today and as of right now you making us late."

"Ughhh I wish you would inform me before you make plans."

I was still not awake enough to realize that Joe was still in his pj's, but when I did…

"You wake me up and it takes me 15 min. to get ready and you haven't even showered or gotten dressed yet?! Oh your gong to get it."

"I'm sorry Kathryn. He laughed. At least I'm the only one were going to be waiting for."

He makes me so mad. I thought to myself as I walked back to the back of the bus. I saw Kevin sitting there already dressed and ready to go.

"I'm glad to see your dressed… unlike your BROTHER!" I said.

"Well good morning to you too, negative Nancy."

"I woke up to your brother in my face…and telling me I had like 10 min. to get ready, how cold I possibly be in a good mood?"

Well, that's true; I know something that will always cheer you up! Wanna go?"

"It depends where…"

"Okay fine big rob asked me to go get him some Starbucks, there's one like a block away, do you want to come with me?" he asked.

"YES! I need coffee! NOW!"

He laughed and said, "Okay, but get a jacket it cold and kind of rainy outside."

"Okay Dad" I said sarcastically.

"Meet you outside."

I could not find a sweatshirt, I had big puffy jacket but it wasn't cold enough for that yet.

I went looking around maybe mike had one, no he didn't gosh darn. I guess I'll take one of Joe's. Finally I found one that matched perfectly. It smelt so good to. O my my my!

I grab my cell and money and walked out. Kevin standing right there. He looked at me funny.

"So do you just randomly take people's hoodies out of people's bags? He asked.

"Crap. It was in Joe's stuff I thought it was his I couldn't find one of mine. And this matched perfectly. I'm sorry I'll take it off."

"Don't be stupid I was just joking"

Not going to lie after what I heard last night it made things a little awkward. I love Shaun. Kevin is like my brother. I need to figure this out. I love Shaun. I kept telling myself that. Kevin and I were talking about random stuff all he way to get coffee, time flew by so fast when we got there it started to rain, and we had just been talking about being kissed in the rain. I said I never had been. And neither had he. I guess it was just right feeling. He leaned in as kissed me. I pulled away fast; I didn't know what to do.

It felt so right. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Like the fireworks were going crazy. I had huge butterflies in my stomach. I just stood there and he whispered I'm sorry. I was in such shock; I just walked back to the bus fast. I was crying. I was so confused.

About 10 minutes later I heard Kevin come back onto the bus. Joe, who had seen me briefly when I came in, went up to him and asked what, was wrong with me. I don't know what they were thinking; I could hear every word they were saying. Boys!

"YOU WHAT?" Joe screamed.

"SHHH! Gosh be quiet what if her band hears..."

Michael walked in right then and said,

"I would say good for her she needs somebody that will actually think of her as a live person I don't think she has talk to Shaun since before she met you guys! I'd say about 3 months"

"3 months wow." Joe said.

Yeah, I don't like him at all; he is one of those people you just can not trust."

And that's when I feel asleep……


	7. Chapter 7

This is bad, it's going to be awkward the rest of the day. Thank goodness they have to leave tomorrow morning! I can't believe this is going on. I finally woke up about 9:00. I woke up to a silent bus…confusing! I got up and looked around no one was up. Its time for REVENGE. I'm going to wake them up I thought to myself! I planed it all out.

Water guns and music. Yes! This should be fun! I knew I should do Joe first because he was the lightest sleeper, and then nick. I didn't plan to wake Kevin up. Hopefully Joe would do that. I quietly opened up the curtain to Joe's bunk. Smiled, got my water gun ready, and pressed play. As soon as the water hit his face, he jumped 2 feet in the air.

"UGGHH…Kathryn Stop it! Leave now." He moaned.

"o so you can wake me up, but I cant wake you up. I don't think so!" as I sprayed him more and more till he got up.

"so who's next?" we both looked at each other and at the same time said

"Nick"

We finally got him up and joe was like

"Kevin next?"

"You can I think I'm going to watch TV."

"You can't ignore him forever you're going to have to talk about it sometime."

"Joe you don't understand, I didn't dislike it, it made me happy, and it was like nothing I have ever felt before. It was the best kiss I have ever had. That's why I don't want to talk about it."

"O. well, that's not something to be ashamed of"

"It is when you have a boyfriend that you've been with for a YEAR, Joe. This is bad and it's confusing me. And I can't take it."

"Okay I understand."

I walked back to watch TV and finally everyone was awake. We decided on going to lunch and then the movies. Which is going to be hard but we will wear hats and sunglasses.

We got dressed and headed out. We went to sonic for lunch. And then to the movies. We couldn't decide what to see.

" I want to see Vantage Point" Kevin said

"me too" nick added

"Umm… I don't think so, definitely, Definitely Maybe." I said.

"So I guess Joe it's up to you" Kevin laughed.

"It's always up to me! Poo on you guys! Umm… sorry Kathryn I choose vantage point."

It wasn't a bad movie, but not the one I wanted to see. The movie ended about, 5 so we went back to the bus and just sat there. It was very awkward.

Kevin's phone broke the silence.

"Crap Joe it's mom she's probably making us leave."

"Hello? Hey mom, yeah we were just leaving, sure we will call when were there, okay, love you too, bye." Kevin said.

"We have to leave, now!"

"Aw! I'm going to miss you guys so much!" I whined

"Us to, we will see you soon! VERY soon okay?" Joe said back.

"Okay Joe!" I said "Call everyday, or I might kill you."

"Bye Guys Love you! See ya soon!"

"Bye Kathryn" they all said together.

We hugged and then they were off!


	8. NOTE

Hey Guys,

Um so MAJOR problems

My laptop DIED.

It wont turn on I have no clue what is wrong with it.

MY WHOLE LIFE IS ON THAT THING.

Memories, papers, books, pictures, schedule, devotionals, EVERYTHING,

And MY EFFING ITUNES.

Until we can figure out what is wrong with it,

I have nothing. If we can't I'm SCREWED.

I am VERY upset. But things happen right?

Sorry,

Kat


End file.
